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Inside the Integrus360: Connectedness
Nathan Derenski • August 6, 2026
Most leaders care about their people.
I believe that.
Most people do not step into leadership because they want to make life harder for the people around them.
They want to build something meaningful.
They want their teams to grow.
They want the organization to succeed.
But good intentions are not the same thing as healthy leadership behaviors.
That is one of the hardest lessons I have had to learn in my own leadership.
When I completed my first Integrus360 years ago, I was serving as an executive pastor. I had strong instincts around execution— I moved quickly, noticed what needed improvement, and pushed hard to keep things progressing.
My intentions were good.
- I wanted the church to grow.
- I wanted the ministry to be effective.
- I wanted our team to succeed.
But the feedback in my 360 showed me that some of the very behaviors I relied on most were creating constraints in other areas of my leadership. One of those areas was Connectedness, which came in with a low score.
It was not that I did not care about people; I simply had not developed the practical behaviors that allowed people to experience that care consistently.
Connectedness Is More Than Being Friendly
Connectedness is not about being the most outgoing person in the room, and it is not about becoming close friends with everyone on your team or filling the calendar with social events.
Connectedness is the visible expression of relational proximity.
It is the ongoing effort to know the people you work with, understand something about their lives, value them as people (not only for what they produce), and most importantly, communicate it effectively.
A leader may think, “My team knows I care.” But the team can only respond to the behaviors they actually experience.
Let me ask you something.
Do you make time to be with them when you don't need something?
Do you remember what they tell you in conversation and follow up later?
Can they come to you when they have a question, need clarity, or encounter an obstacle?
Those behaviors create connection. And when they are missing, the cost can quietly grow.
The Silent Cost of Disconnection
Low Connectedness rarely announces itself with a loud alarm.
Instead, people begin to fade.
They may stop offering ideas.
They may hesitate to raise a concern.
They may work around problems rather than bringing them to you.
They may continue completing their responsibilities while becoming less emotionally invested in the team.
Eventually, some of them leave.
When that happens, leaders often look first at compensation, benefits, workload, or advancement opportunities. While those factors do matter, sometimes the deeper issue is simpler: people did not feel connected to the leader.
When someone leaves, the organization loses more than the work they performed. It loses trust, relationships, context, and institutional knowledge. A replacement must be recruited, hired, trained, and integrated into the team.
Connectedness may not have its own line in the budget, but a lack of it eventually touches almost every line.
I Was Acting Like the Sheriff
Before receiving my Integrus360 feedback, I had a habit of walking around the office, I knew that successful leaders often did this to keep their finger on the pulse of their organization.
At the time, I probably would have described this as being present and aware of what was happening. I was checking in, staying involved, and making sure things were moving.
But after seeing my results, I began paying closer attention to how people responded when I entered their workspace.
They got nervous.
My arrival communicated that I was probably about to ask for a report, check on a deadline, identify a problem, or add something to their workload.
They were experiencing me like the sheriff.
I thought I was walking around like an engaged leader, but I was missing a crucial component that made those other leaders successful.
I wasn't actually connecting with my team.
That realization forced me to change the purpose of those interactions.
Instead of walking around to inspect, I began walking around to connect. I had to leave the work agenda behind and become more like the mayor—showing up, learning about people, and building relational familiarity.
I started asking simple questions.
“When was that picture taken?”
“How did your son’s baseball game go?”
“Tell me about that.”
Then I practiced something that was difficult for me at first: I did not bring the conversation back to work.
No report request. No reminder. No surprise assignment. No correction disguised as a casual visit.
I simply tried to know the person.
Connection Changed More Than the Conversation
The change did not happen overnight.
For a while, people were still waiting for the hidden work request. They had learned what my office visits usually meant, and it took consistency to build a different expectation.
But over time, they became more relaxed.
Then something else began to change.
People became more willing to come to me.
They would tell me when something was blocking their progress. They would ask for resources. They would request clarity before a misunderstanding became a larger problem.
The team did not become less productive because I was spending time connecting. We became more effective because people felt relationally safe enough to communicate honestly.
That is one of the most important things I have learned as a leader:
Connectedness does not compete with performance.
Healthy connection supports performance.
When people trust the leader, they are more likely to surface problems early, ask necessary questions, and accept greater responsibility. They do not have to spend as much energy protecting themselves or guessing how the leader will respond.
Connection makes transparency possible.
“I Don’t Have Time” Is the Wrong Conclusion
For many high-achieving leaders, the greatest obstacle to Connectedness is the calendar.
They look at the meetings, deadlines, decisions, and projects in front of them and think, “I do not have time for this.”
I understand that instinct, and I have felt it. But the fuller your calendar becomes, the less you can afford to disconnect from your team.
You need those people to carry the mission with you. You need them to tell you when something is not working. You need them to ask for clarity, identify risks, and bring forward ideas.
Connectedness does not always require a team dinner, an off-site, or a half day of activities. In demanding seasons, it may look much smaller.
- Send a personal voice message.
- Take 15 minutes to walk around the office.
- Ask someone how they are carrying the pressure.
- Acknowledge the work they are doing.
- Remove an obstacle from their path.
- Let them know you are still in the trenches with them.
Then, when the pressure eases, stop long enough to celebrate what the team accomplished and return to a healthier relational rhythm.
Connection Still Needs Boundaries
I wouldn't serve you well if I didn't take just a second to talk about the dangers of a Connectedness score that is too high. Because even something as important as Connectedness can become a constraint when it grows without balance.
A leader can become so relationally attached that accountability feels disloyal. Hard feedback gets delayed. Underperformance is tolerated. Necessary transitions become unnecessarily painful.
Healthy Connectedness does not require you to place one person above the mission. You can care deeply about someone and still tell the truth. You can value a relationship and still address a performance issue. You can honor a person and still recognize that their season on the team may be ending.
That is why the Integrus360 measures Connectedness as a dial rather than a pass-or-fail trait. The goal is not maximum connection. The goal is healthy, effective connection.
Nathan Derenski
Executive Coach
Integrus Leadership
Take the Walk
Meaningful connection is rarely built through one major conversation. It develops through small, consistent moments when people experience your interest without wondering what you need from them.
That is the purpose of a Connected Leader Walkaround.
It creates intentional space for you to step away from tasks, deadlines, and status updates long enough to engage the people behind the work. Over time, these agenda-free conversations can help your team feel more comfortable approaching you, sharing what they are experiencing, and raising concerns before they become larger problems.
The Connected Leader Walkaround is not about forcing small talk or pretending to be more relational than you are. It is a practical structure for making the care you already feel more visible through your behavior.
We created a simple tool to help you begin. It includes a framework for your walkaround, practical conversation prompts, and a Connection Log to help you remember what matters and follow up naturally.
Download the Connected Leader Walkaround and begin creating small, meaningful moments of connection with your team.
You may know that you value your people.
The more important question is: do they experience it?
You don't have to wonder. Download the tool today.
Ready to See the Full Picture?
How is your inner dialogue shaping the way that you lead?
Connectedness is one of 12 leadership behavior dials measured in the Integrus360. Each dial includes a score to indicate how you view your leadership, along with up to six anonymous describer scores, giving you unparalleled insight into how your leadership is experienced by others.
Complete your Integrus360 today, and then connect with a behavioral leadership expert to debrief your results and discover which behaviors strengthen your leadership, and more importantly, which behaviors are holding you back.
And if it's been more than 18 months since you last completed your 360, it's time to update your data. Because circumstances change and leaders grow, and your data evolves along with you.
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When misaligned, it can quietly undermine your credibility & influence. When Presence Is Too Low Many leaders assume that if they are competent and committed, their influence will naturally follow. But competence alone does not guarantee credibility in the eyes of others. I have worked with highly intelligent, detail-oriented leaders who consistently scored lower on Presence. These were not weak leaders. They were disciplined. Focused. Task-driven. Their internal commitment was strong. But externally, their energy did not translate. To others, they sometimes appeared disengaged, reserved, or difficult to read. In some cases, team members interpreted their focus as indifference. In others, their lack of visible enthusiasm reduced confidence in their direction. None of that was intentional, yet leadership effectiveness is not determined by intention. It is shaped by perception. Because how others perceive your leadership is their reality. If your energy does not communicate belief, conviction, and engagement, people may hesitate to follow, even if your strategy is sound. Too little presence can limit your influence, not because you lack ability, but because others struggle to experience it. When Presence Is Too High The other end of the dial presents a different risk. Some leaders bring significant energy into a room. They are expressive, enthusiastic, and highly verbal. Their intent is often positive: to motivate, to inspire, to move things forward. But unmanaged presence can become overwhelming. High energy without awareness can dominate conversations. It can unintentionally crowd out quieter voices. It can create a dynamic where others feel talked over rather than invited in. In some cases, excessive enthusiasm can even be perceived as performative rather than authentic. When that happens, trust erodes. Presence is not about taking up space. 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To help you begin that reflection, we created a simple one-page tool called the Presence Self Assessment Tool . It is designed to help you evaluate: The first impression you create The energy you consistently bring into rooms How you show up when the pressure increases Whether your presence invites engagement or restricts it Awareness is always the first step to any effective leadership growth. If presence can either strengthen or weaken your effectiveness, it is worth taking an honest look at how you are showing up. Download the Presence Self Awareness Tool , and evaluate how your presence is impacting your leadership today. Terry
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Just because failure happens doesn’t mean we have to accept it or settle for it. Baseball taught me that while failure is frequent, it's also an opportunity for growth. As leaders, we should learn from setbacks, rise above them, and never get comfortable with mediocrity. 4️⃣ Failure isn’t just a step on the path to success; it’s a foundational building block. In baseball, failure is part of the process. The best players use their mistakes to improve. Similarly, failure is essential in leadership. It's not just a stepping stone—it’s the foundation that builds resilience, adaptability, and eventual success. 5️⃣ You have to hate losing way more than you love winning. The drive to avoid failure can often be stronger than the desire to win. Great leaders, like great athletes, are deeply competitive. It’s not just about wanting to win—it’s about refusing to lose. This competitive spirit fuels growth and perseverance. 6️⃣ Not every at-bat needs to be a home run—sometimes, singles are exactly what you need. In today’s culture, we often glorify the "home runs"—the big wins and flashy successes. But in baseball, as in leadership, consistency matters. Sometimes, small wins are just as important. You don’t need to hit it out of the park every time; a well-placed single is what gets the job done. 7️⃣ Isolation is not an option—you can’t play all the positions. In baseball, teamwork is essential. No one can play all nine positions. The same is true in leadership. You need to trust your team and rely on their strengths. Isolation leads to burnout, while collaboration leads to success. 8️⃣ Playing with fear means playing with failure. When you let fear control you, failure follows. On the field and in leadership, playing timidly often leads to errors. Leaders must act with confidence and courage, even in uncertain circumstances. 9️⃣ Sometimes you do everything right and still lose; sometimes you do everything wrong and still win. Baseball, like life, is unpredictable. You can make all the right moves and still not get the result you want. Conversely, you might make mistakes and still come out on top. The key is to learn from every experience and keep improving, regardless of the outcome. 🔟 Numbers can be more distracting than helpful. In baseball, players can get caught up in stats—batting averages, home runs, RBIs. But focusing too much on numbers can distract from the bigger picture. In leadership, metrics are important, but they don’t tell the whole story. Focus on progress and improvement, not just the numbers. Keys to Successful Leadership Awareness Brings Confidence and Clarity One of the biggest lessons from baseball is the importance of awareness. Players who know where everyone is on the field and understand each person’s role play with confidence and freedom. The same applies to leadership. When you have clarity about your team’s roles and responsibilities, you create an environment where everyone can thrive. Be Ready to Pivot In baseball, you never know when you’ll be asked to play a different position. It’s important to be adaptable and ready to pivot when needed. As leaders, we should develop the ability to pivot quickly, adjusting our strategies when circumstances change. Don’t Settle for Failure Just because failure happens often in baseball doesn’t mean you have to like it. Many players use the sport's inherent difficulty as an excuse, but I believe we should hate losing. The competitive spirit should motivate us to work harder and be better every day. Celebrate Success Lastly, don’t forget to celebrate your wins. 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Developing team chemistry by intentionally building relationships is crucial for success.
Reduce risk, improve the health of your culture, and set your team up for success!
Have you ever preached an entire message with your fly-down? I have. It was worse than it sounded. We were about eight weeks into a new church launch and meeting in a movie theater. The stage was dark because we had zero budget for equipment, so our cost-effective solution was to shine the stark spotlights on me and my unzipped zipper. The metal teeth of the zipper were sparkling in the bright lights for 25 minutes before my message concluded. I was the last to know what everyone else had already noticed. Even though my message was Christ-focused and well-delivered, only one thing mattered, the awareness of my issues. My zipper problem would have been easy to fix if I’d been aware. I share my embarrassing moment with you because I think it illustrates what you and I know to be true about leadership coaching. People around us can see our constraints before we do, and a great leadership coach is an effective way to grow in leadership–– they are empowered to bring attention to our constraints. You and I are not doing ministry in a vacuum, your ministry has a culture. It might be unnoticed, but it's fully realized. Your ministry culture involves how you lead, how your teams interact with each other, how you handle conflict, and how everyone communicates with each other. Combine all those organizational elements and you have a culture in which you’re immersed. One you might not even notice. After years of vocational ministry as a church planter and lead pastor, I’ve benefited from a leadership coach. So much so, I’m coaching ministry leaders myself because the tools I’ve learned catalyzed our church for greater impact.
Greatness demands intentionality. Ministry has always been challenging, but these past few years have been the hardest for many of us. Becoming the leader God called you to be will require more intentionality because of the significant challenges ahead of you and your teams. Here at Integrus we engage daily with top-level ministry leaders who are experiencing: Extreme fatigue Burn out Harsh criticism Polarizing divisions Lack of encouragement
Have you ever felt overwhelmed and underresourced as a ministry leader?
Leadership is a behavior that influences others and drives outcomes. A biblical example of someone who influenced those around him and drove outcomes is Nehemiah. He had a task in front of him in that the walls around Jerusalem were down. Nehemiah could have sulked about this, but he chose to influence those around him which yielded an outcome of the walls being rebuilt.
