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Great leaders C.A.R.E.
June 24, 2025
Build Stronger Relationships on Your Team with the CARE Tool
As an executive coach and pastor, I've learned that effective leadership isn’t just about strategy or results—it’s about caring for the people on your team.
One of the most powerful tools I’ve used to build rapport and strengthen relationships with my teams is something I call the C.A.R.E. tool. It’s simple, actionable, and transformational.
CARE is an acronym that stands for:
- Connect
- Appreciate
- Respect
- Empathize
These four behaviors will increase the trust among your team and build bridges for stronger relational equity.
C is for Connect
Start by finding one thing that you and the other leader have in common. Maybe you both love sushi. Maybe you're watching the same show. Maybe you’re both parents to boys around the same age. The goal here is one shared point of connection.
Ask yourself: "What’s one thing I have in common with this person?"
A is for Appreciate
What’s something you can genuinely appreciate about this leader? They might not think like you, vote like you, or worship like you—but maybe they stand firmly in their beliefs. Maybe they can clearly express why they think what they think. Maybe they care deeply about something that matters to them. You don’t have to agree to appreciate someone’s passion, conviction, or courage.
Ask yourself: "What do they bring to the table?"
R is for Respect
What’s something about their life you respect? Maybe they’re incredibly disciplined with their diet or workout routine. Maybe they’re always polished and organized. Maybe they follow through on what they say. Notice and name something admirable.
Ask yourself: "What do I admire about them?"
E is for Empathize
This one takes a little curiosity. Ask to hear their story. I like to say, “Tell me your three-minute story.” When you know someone’s background—what they’ve overcome, what they’ve carried—you’ll almost always find a place where your heart softens. Maybe they grew up in a hard home. Maybe they’ve battled something privately. There’s always something that makes empathy possible.
You want to find out: "What’s shaped them as a leader?"
C.A.R.E. Download
When you take the time to Connect, Appreciate, Respect, and Empathize, you’re creating a culture where leaders feel seen, valued, and supported—and when leaders know you care, they’re primed to grow, and give their best.
Download the free CARE tool
Let’s lead with connection, appreciation, respect, and empathy—because great leaders CARE.
If telling worked, why do moms say, "I'm not going to tell you again!"?
This is Lauren's Testimony
Great leaders know that words have power. The right phrases can build trust, strengthen teams, and create a culture where people thrive. In this post, we share simple yet impactful things great leaders say—and how they make a difference every day.
This blog by Lyle Wells explores key lessons from a former Executive Pastor on how to lead through chaos.
The Power of Encouragement: Speaking Life Into Others
At Integrus Leadership, we are passionate about championing organizations whose leaders demonstrate a commitment to excellence and advancing the Kingdom of God. That's why we're highlighting these incredible teams through our Leaders We Love series. Here are four organizations we are thrilled to feature this month.
My prayer life as a leader has had its ups and downs. There are times when: I've prayed timidly, which is surprising because I am not a timid person. I've prayed feeling unworthy, even though I know in my heart that I am worthy to approach the throne of grace with boldness. Sometimes I wonder, "Who am I to ask for this?" I've prayed burdened, feeling the weight of the world's troubles and wondering if my personal requests are even valid. As we kick off a new year and launch our 30 Days of Prayer, I'm curious what your prayer life is like. Are you praying timidly, unworthily, or burdened? Or, are you praying with power, expectancy, and delight? And the harder question: Are you praying for your leadership, at work, or even in the midst of your work? Lately, I've realized that the most powerful leaders in Scripture were devoted to prayer. Hannah, from 1 Samuel 1 is a prime example. Hannah knew: The anguish of infertility. The pain of a broken heart The shame that comes with a body that does not cooperate with your deepest hopes. The mistreatment of a family member. The impact weak spiritual leadership could have in her country. The isolation of suffering in a society driven by evil. The feelings of worthless in a culture that didn’t value her. The confusion of prayers seemingly going unanswered. And yet, Hannah knew how to bring all her struggles to God in prayer.
“Not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers.” Harry S. Truman Researchers have analyzed dozens of metrics, and time and time again, the results say the same thing: what separates the good leaders from the great leaders is their commitment to reading. If you want to improve your leadership skills, develop a healthy team, or foster a growth-oriented culture in your organization, start reading leadership books that will help lead yourself, lead a team, or lead an organization. Why Reading Makes Leaders Great Reading expands your viewpoint. In a way, reading books sits you down in front of the author, like a student before the teacher, as they tell you their story and impart their learned knowledge and wisdom. Reading sharpens your problem-solving skills. Julius Caesar is quoted as saying, “experience is the best teacher,” but we disagree; someone else’s experience is the best teacher! When we learn from the wins and losses of those who have gone before us, exposing the problems they have already solved (or not), it helps us analyze information more effectively. Reading fuels creativity and innovation. Books connect us with people who we might otherwise never have the opportunity to learn from, injecting fresh concepts and ideas into stale and stagnant thought patterns. Reading also equips leaders to adapt to change and embrace new strategies because “learning” sits at the core of reading. Reading triggers something inside us that says, “I’m open to new ideas,” readying ourselves for change. Our Staff’s Top Picks The Integrus team has put together a list of our top picks. We’re committed to providing you with insanely practical tools and resources to assist you on your leadership journey, and this list will help you get started on your reading journey to becoming a great leader. We’ve divided the list into 3 categories. These books will help you: lead yourself, lead others, and lead your organization. These books would also make great gifts or stocking stuffers. So, if you’re not sure what to get the leaders in your life for Christmas, this list will give you some ideas. Each of the books on this list have helped our team grow into healthy leaders who make up an effective team, so I am confident they will help you, too. Click the link below to view the 2025 Reading List our website. We’ve creating a page with all of these books linked directly to an online store. Our hope is that this makes it even easier for you to dip your toe in the pool of knowledge that awaits you.
Just days ago, I crossed the finish line of the New York City Marathon, and I’m still riding the high of that experience—medal and all! After eight years of running and five dedicated months of training for this race, I faced unexpected challenges, including a foot injury that nearly sidelined me. These obstacles gave me deeper insights into leadership, lessons I’m excited to share with you. Patience and Persistence Matter Leadership, much like marathon training, is not a sprint. It’s easy to look at leaders and assume that progress is quick and linear, but the reality is often far different. Progress can be slow, non-linear, and full of unexpected twists and turns. During my training, there were days when progress felt almost nonexistent. Yet, those were the moments that mattered most—when I had to push through fatigue, self-doubt, and setbacks. True leaders understand that lasting success comes from staying the course, even when the path forward is uncertain and demanding. Setbacks Are Part of the Journey In both marathons and leadership, setbacks are inevitable. For me, it was a foot injury that flared up weeks before race day. In leadership, it might be unforeseen complications, such as strained resources or processes that don’t go as planned. These challenges can feel discouraging, but great leaders learn to pivot, adapt, and find creative solutions. Setbacks build resilience, and this resilience becomes the fuel that propels you toward future triumphs. Each challenge I overcame during my training helped me build mental and physical endurance for race day—and the same is true for leadership. Celebrate the Small Wins Marathons are long, and reaching each mile marker brings its own sense of achievement. Passing the 5-mile mark, reaching the halfway point, and finally seeing the finish line were moments I celebrated, even if just with a mental cheer. The same principle applies to leadership: every milestone, no matter how small, deserves recognition. These moments of celebration keep your team motivated and energized. They remind everyone that progress is happening, and that acknowledgment helps sustain the team’s drive toward bigger goals. As a leader, it’s essential to create an environment where small wins are appreciated and celebrated. While I know some of you, like my friend Kat, may joke that you'd only run if someone were chasing you, the lessons I took from the NYC Marathon extend far beyond running. I hope these insights inspire you to lead with patience, embrace resilience during challenges, and find joy in celebrating progress—whether you’re striving to complete a major organizational project or pursuing personal growth. Leadership, like marathon training, is a journey that tests us in countless ways, but the lessons along the way make all the difference. Keep pushing forward, celebrate the journey, and know that each step takes you closer to your finish line.
Do a quick search online, and you'll find that 19.1% of the adults in the US have an anxiety disorder. That's almost one in every five people. More troubling, this doesn't include the undiagnosed men, women, and children. And while there is very little info to be found on how many of those people identify as Christians, we know that it's not just a problem for "the world." Fear and anxiety are running rampant in the church these days, too. But this isn't a new problem, is it? Humanity has been dealing with fear since the Garden of Eden. After eating from the tree they had been commanded not to, Adam and Eve heard the voice of the Lord walking in the garden and they were afraid because they were naked, so they hid themselves. And from that point, the stories of fear just keep on flowing. Right up to my family tree. Fear and anxiety have been a common issue in my family through the generations. Maybe you know what that's like. Maybe fear and anxiety are a new battle for you. Or maybe you know someone who's currently fighting this war of the mind. Whatever your relationship is with fear, there's hope. And I'm not talking about the kind of elusive hope based on cheerful platitudes and well-meaning but empty encouragement. I'm talking about practical truth, based in scripture, and supported by science. I have overcome anxiety, and I am overcoming anxiety every day, and here's how I am doing it. One thousand gifts to overcome anxiety Anxiety is fear of the future, which is really fear of the unknown, and I've struggled with both since I was little. As a small child, I remember lying in bed, worrying about the silliest things. Anything I could imagine to worry about, I did. It would keep me up at night and make me physically sick. This iniquity worked its way through my life and into adulthood, at one point, sending me to the emergency room with chest pains. I was relieved that it wasn't a heart attack, but learning that it was a panic attack made me feel all kinds of ways. I felt ashamed that as a Christian I didn't have more faith to not be afraid. I felt defeated as a mother who was supposed to be strong for her kids. I felt like a failure as a wife because I couldn't be the support I wanted to be to my husband. I was so tempted to worry about my worrying! But instead, I determined to defeat this thing. I was unwilling to allow fear to rob me anymore of the abundant life God promised me, and there was no way I was passing this on to my kids. I read a book called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, and it was a healing balm to my fear-weary soul. This book was the key that began breaking the chains of fear and anxiety that had held me captive since I was a little girl, and I've been walking in freedom ever since. In the book, Ann talked about the benefits of giving thanks and living a life of gratitude. Of course as a Christian and a polite girl from the South, I was used to saying please and thank you like my mama taught me. But through her book, Ann challenged me to make gratitude part of my everyday life by finding 3 things each day to be grateful for, to count the gifts until you reach 1000, and then keep going! I don't know how to fully describe the shift that began inside of me, but for the first time in my life, I was walking in more peace and hope than I ever had! I also started to notice that my anxiety was decreasing while noticeable joy was increasing, despite circumstances that were less than favorable. I love when science confirms scripture Countless studies have been done to examine the effects of fear and anxiety on the brain and effective coping strategies. I came across one of these studies and learned something that was so exciting to me. I learned that the part of your brain that lights up when you're feeling fear and anxiety is the same part that lights up when you express gratitude. I also learned that your brain cannot process two emotions at the same time, meaning you couldn't express fear and gratitude at the same time; one would take over the other. I love when science confirms scripture! Immediately I thought about this scripture in the New Testament: Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving , let your requests be made known to God; [Phil 4:6 NKJV, emphasis added] Paul wasn't just saying that it's a good idea to pray when you're anxious. (How many of us have tried this over and over just to end up feeling like your prayers don't make it past your ceiling? I definitely have.) Paul was telling his readers a divinely-inspired secret about our brains— you can't be anxious and grateful at the same time because they are processed in the same part of the brain. And if you want to defeat your anxiety, express gratitude to the Lord in prayer, and the anxiety will leave! Practicing a life of gratitude Now for some practical tools and strategies for living a life of gratitude. So many people have had great ideas on how to do this, and I've listed some of my favorites below. Remember that the idea is to retrain your thoughts, so you want to engage in some practice of gratitude every day. Gratitude journal If you struggle with swirling thoughts in your brain, I highly recommend journaling because it helps to see your thoughts in black and white. And the same is true for gratitude. You could keep a running list of things you're grateful for, or write out a prayer to the Lord telling Him what you're grateful for. You could also take the "one line a day" approach and write one sentence of gratitude a day. Write notes of gratitude God isn't the only one we can express our gratitude to. Writing notes to coworkers, friends, or loved ones will get you in the habit of looking for the good in people and then affirming it. This will also boost their gratitude and strengthen your relationships. If you're not much of a writer, tell them to their face. Spoken words are no less impactful when expressing gratitude. Gratitude jar This is a fun one! At the beginning of the year, get a jar and a bunch of scraps of paper. Every day, write down one thing you're grateful for that day and put it in the jar. At the end of the year (this is a great activity for New Years Eve), open the jar and read back through all the things you said you were grateful for. Pray and thank the Lord for the 365+ reasons He's given you to be grateful. Gratitude walks Adam walked with God in the garden, and I believe they talked, laughed, and shared their gratitude with each other. Take walks through your neighborhood or a nearby park, and take notice of the beauty of creation and the simple things for which you're grateful. If you know your neighbors, you can also express gratitude in prayer for what they mean to you. Prayers of Gratitude Yes, gratitude journals and jars may help put you in a better mood and get you looking for the brighter things in life, but it's the Lord that brings peace. So if you want lasting peace and freedom from fear and worry, practice gratitude in prayer. When you begin praying, take a few minutes to tell God the reasons you're grateful for who He is and what He's done for you. It's God's peace that guards your heart God instructed us to not be anxious and instead, to be thankful in prayer because it's for our benefit, which he shares in the very next verse (Phil 4:7): and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. His peace, which is greater than all understanding will guard our hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. We don't have to be afraid of the future or the unknown because His peace is greater. We don't have to be afraid when we don't understand what's happening around us because His peace is stronger. Focusing on who God is through gratitude reminds us that He has everything we need. He is our peace, provision, healer, defender, comforter and so much more! Focusing on what God has already done for us on the cross reminds us that He sees us, He knows what we're going through, and He understands the hardships of living in this sin-torn world. Focusing on all the ways He has provided, rescued, and performed miracles reminds us that there is nothing He can't do. Retraining our thoughts requires some work on our part, but it's totally possible. Choose to practice a life of gratitude, starting today, and experience the freedom you've longed for. Draw a line in the sand and say, "The madness stops with me!" Don't let fear and anxiety make it past you to affect one more generation.
